Let Go and Recharge

 We all have those days when we wake up feeling tired, worn out, sad, and unattractive—especially as we get older and start noticing changes in our bodies. The inevitable signs of aging, like crow's feet, wrinkles, or weight gain, can leave us questioning ourselves. So, what do we do? Well, if you're anything like me, you overthink it, beat yourself up, and start blaming yourself for not being more active, for neglecting your skincare routine, for not eating a balanced diet, or for drinking a little too much.

Sure, these factors can contribute to how we feel and how we look, but is it really worth it to be so hard on ourselves just because we think we have to look a certain way? Where does all this negative self-talk come from? I believe it stems from the constant pressure to fit into an image that society pushes on us. We’re told men should be muscular with chiseled V-shaped waists, tree trunk arms, and a full head of hair. We’re told women should look like stick-thin supermodels, with flawless skin and perfect bodies. But the truth is, not all men are built like that, and not all women fit into that narrow standard of beauty.

We’ve got to break free from the mindset that we have to live up to society's impossible standards, whether they’re from media, social media, or advertisements. It’s okay to have weight gain. It’s okay to have stretch marks, dark circles under your eyes, and to not always feel your best. In fact, those imperfections don’t take away from your beauty—they are a part of you.

I’m tired of letting others, and even myself, label me. We spend so much time trying to fit in, to be someone else, or to live up to an image that isn’t our own. It's time to take the pressure off. It’s okay to feel tired, to feel unattractive, and to have those days when you’re not at your best. As Ella Henderson sings in her song "Ugly," "One day I'm beautiful, then I'm ugly, but those days remind me that I am human."

Let’s remember that we’re not here to impress everyone. We’re here to impress ourselves. And I’ve started telling myself, especially on those days when I don’t feel my best, that I am beautiful, I am worthy, and I am deserving of everything this life has to offer.

If you find yourself in a negative headspace like I do sometimes, I recommend taking a day for yourself. Step away from the pressures and do something that recharges you. Wear your favorite outfit, take a break from work, cancel plans that you weren’t really excited about, and do something that brings you joy. For me, it’s a visit to the plant nursery or a stroll through a botanical garden, with a cup of coffee in hand. Nature has a way of helping me reconnect with the world outside the constant buzz of screens and social media.

Remember, self-care is just as important—if not more important—than being there for everyone else. Sometimes, we just need to be there for ourselves. Take a moment to relax, to breathe, and to recharge, so you don’t burn out. You are enough, just as you are.

Investing: The Key to Financial Freedom (And Why You Should Start Now)

 Ah, investing. It’s like the magical act that turns your money into more money—the kind of wizardry that rich folks have been practicing for years while the rest of us were stuck in the daily grind. For the longest time, I believed that working paycheck to paycheck was just my fate. But then, I discovered investing, and suddenly I realized I didn’t have to live that way forever.

So, let’s dive into the world of investing for beginners. I know it can sound intimidating, but trust me, once you get the hang of it, it’s not nearly as scary as it seems. First things first: let’s talk about some of the most common types of retirement accounts you’ll encounter—401(k)s, Traditional IRAs, and Roth IRAs. These are all retirement savings accounts, but they each have different rules when it comes to taxes, contributions, and withdrawals.

1. 401(k): The Employer-Sponsored Retirement Account

Let’s start with the classic—the 401(k). If you’re working a job, there’s a good chance your company offers a 401(k) plan. And here’s the kicker: many employers will match your contributions (yes, free money!). So, if you put in a certain percentage of your paycheck, your company might kick in some extra cash, usually anywhere from 1% to 10%. Not too shabby, right?

The easiest way to invest in your 401(k) is to have a percentage automatically deducted from your paycheck. It’s like set it and forget it—you won’t even notice it’s happening until you check your account balance. (And when you do, it’ll feel like a pleasant surprise.)

The money you put into a 401(k) is pre-tax, which means it comes out of your paycheck before Uncle Sam gets his cut. This helps reduce your taxable income. However, keep in mind there are withdrawal rules. You can start taking money out without penalties once you hit the age of 59 ½. Before that, any early withdrawals could incur a 10% penalty, plus taxes. Yikes.

If you leave your job, don’t forget to transfer your 401(k) to a financial service company like Fidelity or Charles Schwab. I personally use Fidelity for their amazing customer service and user-friendly website. The great thing about these companies is they’ll manage your investments for you—either for free or for a small fee if you decide to work with a financial advisor. You won’t have to worry about picking individual stocks or bonds because your money will likely go into something called ETFs (Exchange-Traded Funds).

ETFs are a great way to spread out your risk while still growing your money. For example, your 401(k) might be invested in something like the S&P 500 (which tracks the top 500 US companies) or the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF (which gives you exposure to the entire US stock market). Both are excellent choices for long-term growth. There’s also the Vanguard Total World Stock ETF, which focuses on emerging markets with high growth potential.

2. Traditional IRA: A Tax-Deferral Option

Now, let’s talk about Traditional IRAs. This is another type of retirement account that works similarly to your 401(k). Anyone can open a Traditional IRA, and like the 401(k), it has tax rules and guidelines you’ll need to follow.

Contributions to a Traditional IRA may be tax-deductible, depending on your income and whether you already have a 401(k) at work. Plus, the investments inside the account grow tax-deferred, meaning you don’t pay taxes on the gains until you withdraw the money later. However, when you do withdraw, the money is taxed as ordinary income.

The withdrawal rules for IRAs are similar to the 401(k)—you can’t take out money without penalties until you’re at least 59 ½.

3. Roth IRA: The Tax-Free Growth Option

Last but certainly not least is the Roth IRA. This account works a little differently than the others because you’re contributing after-tax dollars. That means you’ve already paid taxes on the money before you contribute it, but the magic happens when the investments grow—tax-free.

Yes, you heard me right. All your investments in a Roth IRA will grow without being taxed, and when you withdraw the money in retirement, it’s completely tax-free—including any gains. This is an excellent choice if you expect to be in a higher tax bracket when you retire and want to avoid paying taxes on your withdrawals.

Which One Should You Choose?

To summarize:

• 401(k) with a company match: Contribute at least enough to get the match—because, hello, free money.

• Traditional IRA: Ideal if you want a tax deduction now and expect to be in a lower tax bracket in retirement.

• Roth IRA: Perfect if you think you’ll be in a higher tax bracket later and want tax-free withdrawals in retirement.

Start Small, Build Over Time

The key to investing is to start small and build over time. Don’t feel like you need to max out everything right away. The most important thing is to develop good money habits today, and over time, you’ll see some big financial wins down the road.

So, are you ready to start investing? Remember, the earlier you begin, the more time your money has to grow. So, let’s get those retirement accounts rolling! Stay tuned for the next post, where we’ll dive even deeper into the world of investing. Happy investing, everyone!

Savings: What to Do With That Extra Cash (Besides Spending It on Amazon)

 Alright, we’ve already tackled the tough stuff—creating a budget, figuring out how and when to pay your bills like the responsible adult you are, and maybe even discovering a little hidden treasure in your bank account (hello, extra dollar or two!). So, now that you’ve got some extra cash, what should you do with it?

Well, before you head to the bar or pull the trigger on that Amazon purchase you’ve been eyeing (even though you know deep down you don’t really need it), let’s talk about your options. Why not splurge, you ask? Well, I’ve got a couple of reasons for you to think twice.

First off, if you’re reading my posts, chances are you’re serious about achieving financial freedom. You want to retire when you choose—not when you run out of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to stop throwing your money away on short-term indulgences and start thinking long-term. And I’m not just talking about getting out of debt—I’m talking about growing your money. So, let’s talk savings.

Now, I know I’ve mentioned savings a few times, but here’s the big advice that’s bound to make you scratch your head: You can’t save yourself to wealth. Yep, I said it. You can’t expect to build wealth with a traditional savings account. While having a basic savings account for emergencies, a future home, or a travel fund is a smart move, it’s not going to grow your money in any meaningful way.

If you’re looking to actually grow your wealth, it’s time to think about a High Yield Savings Account (HYSA). These accounts offer a better return on your money compared to a regular savings account. Ask your bank if they offer them, and if they do, find out what the APR (interest rate) is. If it’s 3% or higher, congratulations—you’re in the money-making game! That extra interest will be working for you, slowly but surely, as you put money in over time.

Now, how much should you contribute? If you can, aim to put 3% to 5% of your paycheck into your HYSA after paying your bills and covering your living expenses. I don’t want you to live like a monk just to save—remember, you still deserve a good meal or a night out. But if 3%-5% is too much for you to start with, no worries. Begin with something manageable—anywhere from $20 to $100 per pay period, depending on what you can comfortably set aside. The goal is to consistently invest in your financial future, not to be penny-pinching to the point where you can’t enjoy life today.

Here’s the biggie: once that money goes into your HYSA, do not touch it. This isn’t your “let’s treat myself” fund. This is your “I’m building a better financial life” fund. Keep that money growing over time, and when you’re ready for retirement, you’ll have a solid cushion to fall back on.

And then there’s the emergency fund. Yes, this is the more boring, non-wealth-building account—but trust me, it’s necessary. This is where you’ll stash money for things like car repairs, unexpected medical bills, or, god forbid, a job loss. A good rule of thumb is to build this emergency fund up to 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses. I aim for a year, because I’m an overthinker and would rather be over-prepared than caught off guard. The key here is that you don’t want to dip into your HYSA or rack up credit card debt for emergencies. So, start building this fund as soon as you can, and make sure it’s there when life throws you a curveball.

And as for investing—well, that’s a whole other ball game, and I’ll be diving into that in my next post. Stay tuned, because we’re just getting started on this financial freedom journey!

So, to wrap things up: Don’t blow your extra cash on temporary thrills. Instead, put it into savings and investments that will actually work for you in the long run. Your future self will thank you.

Let’s Talk Finance: Budgeting Without the Dread for Beginners

 Alright, folks, let’s dive into the world of finance. As a financial planner who grew up with very little in Alabama—raised by an amazing dad who had limited education, no financial literacy, and even less of an idea about how to manage money while raising four kids on his own for a few years—I can honestly say I learned a lot of the financial wisdom I’m about to share with you the hard way. From saving to spending, and yes, even budgeting (cue the collective groan), it took me years of trial and error to figure out what works.

But here’s the good news: I’m here to save you from that struggle. And the first step? Budgeting. Now, I know that word alone can send shivers down your spine, but trust me—it’s not as scary as it sounds. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful tools you have to gain control over your finances and start building the financial stability you deserve.

Let’s start with the hard part: budgeting. Yes, I promise it’s not as terrible as it seems. To create a simple budget, the first thing you need to figure out is where all your money is going. Do you have multiple accounts—checking, savings, credit cards? If so, start gathering all that information. I recommend beginning with your checking account, the one where your paycheck is deposited.

If you have online banking (and I’m really hoping you do in this day and age), take a look at your transactions from the last two months. Write down everything that’s coming out of your account—the bills, groceries, subscriptions, the works. If you're anything like me, you’ll probably discover a few double subscriptions or services you didn’t even realize you were paying for. Don’t worry—once you see it, you can always cancel those extras and save some cash.

Now that you’ve tackled the hardest part (congratulations!), take a deep breath and give yourself a mental high-five. You’re on the right track.

Next up, take the same approach with your savings and credit cards. Do the same thing—write down your transactions, and take note of when bills are due. Double-check these dates with the billing company, either by looking at your billing statement or calling them directly. Knowing the exact due date is crucial for the next step—figuring out when to pay based on when you get paid. And if you’re behind or have a late payment, don’t be afraid to reach out to the company to ask about setting up a payment plan or requesting an extension. Many companies are willing to work with you, especially if you communicate your situation.

Now, let’s talk timing. When do you get paid—weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly? If you’re paid weekly, you probably won’t need to adjust your payment dates. But if you’re on a bi-weekly or monthly pay cycle, it’s time to take a look at how your bills line up with your paychecks. Can you afford to pay all the bills that are due during a particular pay period and still have enough left for food, transportation, and—yes—savings? If not, look at your next pay period. If those bills fall into that window, consider asking the billing company to move the due date for some of them. A little tweaking can take a huge load off your shoulders and, hopefully, help you sleep a little easier.

Once you’ve gone through all of this, make sure to write everything down or type it up. This will be your go-to reference as you continue managing your finances.

In my next post, we’ll talk about what to do with the savings you’ll start to uncover as you fine-tune your custom budget. Stay tuned—financial freedom is closer than you think!

People Expecting You to Always Say Hi First (And Why That’s a Little Weird)

 Okay, buckle up, because this might sound like a rant, but I promise it’s coming from a place of frustration, not just me needing to vent. Have you ever had someone say, "You never say hi to me," or "I saw you the other day, and you didn’t come say hi!"? Well, let me tell you, it’s enough to make anyone want to scream, "I’m not your personal greeting committee!"

Am I crazy, or does that just seem a little rude, inconsiderate, and—dare I say it—attention-seeking? I’m from the South, where we’re taught to speak our minds but also show respect and kindness to everyone who behaves in a manner that deserves politeness. But here’s the thing: if I want to talk to you, I’ll approach you and say hello. I’m happy to make the first move, but it’s not my sole responsibility to always be the one to start the conversation or offer the pleasantries. This whole communication thing is a two-way street. I’m not the only one driving here.

And let me tell you, it's usually women who say this sort of thing to me—and sometimes with a side of "I thought it was rude you didn’t acknowledge me." First of all, I’m a proudly gay man with zero interest in seeking attention from women. So, guess what? I don’t owe you anything—especially not an unsolicited hello. But beyond that, when did this become a thing where men have to always initiate communication? I thought feminism was about equality and independence. What happened to that? I’m all for empowerment, but shouldn't we all be equally responsible for creating connections?

Now, let’s talk manners. I’ve actually studied gentleman behavior. Yes, there’s a thing called charm school (it’s still a thing, despite the fact it sounds like something straight out of a rom-com). That’s where you learn how to be polite, how to be considerate, and how to show basic respect. It’s sad that this has kind of fallen out of fashion, but honestly, I think it needs a comeback. I’m not talking about outdated notions like "women must obey" (yikes, no one’s about that anymore)—just simple things like saying "please," "thank you," and referring to people as "sir" or "ma’am." It’s about respect, not submission.

At the end of the day, though, I really just don’t think it should be anyone’s job to always initiate communication. Am I the only one who feels this way? Or am I just the asshole who thinks it's a bit rude when people call you out for not saying hi, when they themselves never bothered to say it first? It’s like when someone says, “You never call or write.” Uh, hello, communication takes effort from both sides, right? Otherwise, we’d all be talking to ourselves—and let’s be honest, that would just make us look crazy.

So here’s my take: if you want to chat, just come over and say hi. I’m happy to engage, but I’m not going to chase you down. After all, we’re all adults, right? Let’s be grown-ups about this whole communication thing.

Political Anger!!

 As I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve left Facebook and Instagram, and I’m making a conscious effort to avoid most U.S. political media—especially the endless cycle of misinformation and manufactured outrage. I refuse to waste my time listening to or reading anything from Donald Trump (a man who is neither a president nor a king but a buffoon) or his lapdog Elon Musk (a billionaire who acts like he’s above consequence). The lies, the hate, the division—it’s exhausting.

But what truly baffles me is why so many Americans are simply allowing this to happen. Why are we standing by while our country’s reputation crumbles? Our ties with allies are being severed, our international credibility is in shambles, and yet, many continue to pretend that everything is fine. The so-called "American Dream" has been dead for years, yet people cling to the illusion that all is well. Meanwhile, politicians and billionaires hoard power and wealth while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet.

Where is our outrage? Where is our fight?

We should be demanding better. We should be out in the streets, making our voices heard, showing those in power that we will not be ignored. The government works for us, not the other way around. Our leaders, our politicians, and the ultra-wealthy who think they control this country should be reminded of that fact.

It’s time for action. We need to stand together and refuse to support businesses that align with hate, corruption, and greed. Companies that have abandoned DEI initiatives, like Tesla, Amazon, and Target, don’t deserve our money. Instead, we should uplift local businesses, support international allies affected by unfair tariffs, and show solidarity with those fighting for a fairer world.

And let’s stop buying into the lies. Fox News and social media propaganda are not sources of truth. If we want real change, we need to stay informed, think critically, and refuse to be manipulated by fear tactics and manufactured division.

America is at a crossroads. We can either continue to sit back and watch as things spiral further out of control, or we can take a stand.

Let’s choose action. Let’s choose unity. Let’s choose a better future.

Stand up. Be heard. Reject hate. Demand change.

Finding my time and self again! Social Media Detox

 Hello World!! I deleted all social media from my phone, and I have to say—it’s been a game-changer. Like so many people, I’ve spent countless hours mindlessly scrolling, falling into the trap of FOMO (fear of missing out), and letting my time slip away. Looking back, I’m honestly amazed at how much of my life I wasted watching endless videos and reading memes, when I could have been doing something far more meaningful.

Since removing social media from my phone—and completely deleting certain toxic platforms like Facebook and Instagram—I’ve discovered an incredible amount of free time. But beyond just time, the mental and emotional benefits have been even more exciting.

I’ve always been an overthinker, constantly worried about how I present myself online and in person. Leaving social media behind has relieved so much of that stress. No longer am I bombarded with political arguments, carefully curated highlight reels, or the pressure to measure up to someone else's filtered reality. Instead, I feel more present, more engaged, and far more content with my own journey.

Without the constant distractions, I’ve been able to truly focus on my work, hobbies, and personal growth. I’m studying for my financial license, diving into AI, and planning my move overseas. I’ve also found myself having deeper, more meaningful conversations with friends and family—whether through text or in person—rather than passively engaging through likes and comments. Without the impulse to check my phone every few minutes, I feel more connected to the people around me and more appreciative of life’s real moments.

Breaking free from the dopamine addiction of social media has been like hitting a reset button on my brain’s reward system. For years, I felt trapped in a cycle of endless ads, memes, and picture-perfect snapshots of other people’s lives, which inevitably led to self-comparison. Despite all my accomplishments, I sometimes felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Now? That feeling is practically gone. I know my worth, and I no longer seek external validation through social media.

With social media off my phone, I’ve rekindled my love for hobbies and real-world activities that bring me joy. I’ve gotten back into reading and listening to audiobooks, exercising, blogging, learning a new language, decluttering my home, and even painting. I’ve also reconnected with my Buddhist studies and meditation practice.

Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to quit social media entirely. I still have a few accounts, but I’ve set boundaries—I can only access them from my laptop, which I primarily use for work and writing. This simple change has significantly reduced my screen time. Now, I only log in for about an hour or two once a week, and honestly, I rarely even think about it anymore.

If you’ve ever felt like social media is draining your energy or taking time away from what truly matters, I encourage you to try removing it from your phone. Replace the habit with music, podcasts, or audiobooks. Trust me, stepping away from social media won’t hurt your social life—it will actually make you more social in the real world.

If you decide to make a change, I wish you the best of luck. You might be surprised at how much life you gain back.

Why I Quit Facebook, Instagram, and X for Good

 After 14 years, I’m back! Life got busy, and honestly, I forgot I even had this blog. To those who followed and read my posts back then, I apologize for the long absence. This time around, I’ll do my best to post at least once a week—keeping things engaging, entertaining, and positive, because let’s face it, there’s already enough negativity flooding the news and social media.

Speaking of social media, that’s exactly what this first blog post is about: Why I decided to leave Facebook, Instagram, and X for good.

The Problem with Big Tech & Social Media

For a while now, I’ve felt uncomfortable supporting social media platforms owned by billionaires who seem out of touch with the struggles of everyday people—especially those who are financially disadvantaged, marginalized, or part of historically underrepresented communities.

Beyond personal concerns, I’ve grown uneasy with the role these platforms play in spreading misinformation, divisive rhetoric, and unethical business practices. The constant push for engagement often comes at the expense of truth, well-being, and mental health.

Breaking Free from the Algorithm

Social media has become an addiction for many, myself included. The endless scroll, the comparison trap, the carefully curated highlight reels—it all fosters a sense of FOMO (fear of missing out) and keeps people glued to their screens instead of fully experiencing life.

Since stepping away from these platforms, I’ve noticed:
✔ Less stress and negativity
✔ More time for real-life experiences
✔ Better focus on my personal and professional growth

What’s Next?

For now, I’m prioritizing real-life connections, personal growth, and hobbies that don’t involve screens. If you’re looking for a healthier social media alternative, there are plenty of platforms that respect privacy, promote meaningful interactions, and aren’t driven by ad revenue and manipulation.

While I still have YouTube and Bluesky, I won’t be on them nearly as much as I was on traditional social media. My goal is to spend more time living in the present rather than scrolling through someone else’s curated reality.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever felt drained by social media, I highly recommend taking a break and seeing how it affects your mood, mindset, and overall well-being. You might be surprised at how much freer, more productive, and more present you feel.

Thanks for sticking around for my first post back! There’s so much to catch up on from the last 14 years, and I can’t wait to share more with you soon. Until next time!

Why Nerds Make Great Boyfriends

I had to share this because it’s such a great read, and I completely agree with it. I love dating nerds. They’re quick learners, and I never have computer problems when I'm with one! Check out the link below to see what I mean. It’s definitely worth a read!

Why Nerds Make Great Boyfriends

My little coffee shop

I’m slowly getting used to how small the town I live in is. It’s taken me a while to adjust to the quietness and how everyone knows everything about you before you even have a chance to tell them. People I’ve never met already know my entire life story. That’s partly because my parents love to share everything about themselves and the people around them. They’re total gossip queens, but I love them regardless.

One of the things I do love about this town is the little coffee shop, the 2nd Street Cafe. It’s a cozy spot where you can sit, read a book, and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. The owner, Megan, is this sweet girl about my age, and she and her employees—Katy and Cody—make all the food and cream cheese from scratch. They decorate the space with local artwork every month. It’s a quiet yet welcoming place where everyone knows each other and is super friendly. I’ve completely fallen in love with it.

Their sun-dried tomato bagels are the best you’ll ever have. I love going in just to chat with the staff. Megan’s son, Eli, is often running around, playing with toys, and greeting everyone, which is absolutely adorable. It’s like a little family-style coffee shop where you can be yourself and enjoy your day. It’s honestly become my place of sanity, especially since it’s the only place in town that doesn’t have a dead animal hanging on the wall. Plus, it feels like a little slice of the city hidden away in the countryside.

Harry Potter!!

Okay, I admit it—I’m a Harry Potter fan. Yes, part of it is because I have a crush on Daniel Radcliffe. There's something about his pale skin that I find oddly attractive. Maybe it's the same reason I think Elijah Wood is cute. I’m not sure, but anyway… I went to the midnight showing yesterday because I couldn’t wait to see the final movie. I laughed, I cried, and I almost peed myself because I refused to leave the theater and miss any of my screen time with Harry and the crew. It was amazing! I loved every minute of it.

It was surprisingly hard for me to say goodbye to the past ten years at Hogwarts. I kind of grew up with these characters. I learned some life lessons from them, like: if you’re ever threatened by a troll, just knock it out; dragons are cool but dangerous; goblins are evil and should be avoided; friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and true friends will always stand by you; people with platinum blonde hair are usually evil; gingers are misunderstood, poor but happy, and have oddly cute kids; and, last but not least, help will always be given to those who ask for it.

These are just a few of the lessons I’ll carry with me from the countless hours I’ve spent watching Harry Potter. The books and movies will live on because I own all of them, but they’ll be missed in theaters around the world. God bless you, Harry, Hermione, and sweet, silly Ron. May your wands always glow bright in the dark nights of Muggles.

My New Sister/BF...

This past week, my cousin from Florida came out for a week-long visit. We’ve known each other, hung out once, and talked a few times over the phone and through text, but we never really had the chance to spend time together one-on-one. Basically, we were family who knew very little about each other—until this past week.

I had such an amazing time getting to know Rhi (my cousin). She’s sweet, fun-loving, and open-hearted. Despite going through some tough times recently, she’s in great spirits. We went for walks around town, took an impromptu road trip to two towns (the first one ended up being a bust).

Damn the Meeteetse Chocolatier for being closed on a Monday of all days! Mondays are the worst. People need chocolate the most at the start of the week!

We even did a two-day photo shoot just for fun. There’s nothing like dressing up and taking pictures all over town to make your day feel perfect. Seriously, that’s not sarcasm—photo shoots really do boost your confidence.

The time I spent with her was the most fun I’ve had in a long time. I’m so grateful to have someone in my life who barely knew me but with whom I instantly connected. We were like two jaded, sarcastic kids on a sugar rush, but totally rocking the scene kid style.

Forgivness

Okay, this blog entry is more for me than for you, but you might find it interesting anyway.

Forgiveness is something I struggle with. It’s not because I’m a heartless, uncaring person like some might think, but because when someone hurts me, I not only lose faith in them, but my trust is broken as well. I have a hard time letting go and moving on from what’s happened.

As my wonderful cousin, who loves astrology, has pointed out, it’s because I’m a true Leo. I can be proud, stubborn, and quick to anger. These traits can be difficult, I admit, but they also make me who I am: outgoing, friendly, sarcastic, funny, handsome, and very social.

That being said, I’ve been trying to change. I want to be able to forgive and move on without carrying anger, hurt, or ill feelings toward people who do stupid, hurtful things to me. The real challenge isn’t so much the forgiving—it’s the forgetting. When I see people who’ve broken my trust or damaged our relationship, everything that happened comes rushing back, and I quickly put up walls, limiting what I say and do around them.

So how do you truly forgive when you can’t forget? Is true forgiveness possible, or does the anger and hurt always linger in the back of your mind? I think forgiveness is about letting go of that one event, but once trust is broken, it can never fully be restored. The connection with that person will never be the same.

No Regrets!

I know it might sound strange, but I think I’ve finally found peace with my life. I always thought that as you get older, you’d look back and wish you’d done things differently or made other choices. It was something I always heard from my family—everyone had regrets about their lives. For a long time, I didn’t understand why. I figured it was just part of growing up. You do your best, and when things don’t work out, you think about what you could’ve done differently. But I always wondered: What could be so bad that you’d want to go back in time to change it?

Now, with age, I’ve realized that sometimes you do make bad choices, and they change things forever. But the funny thing is, if I hadn’t made those choices, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

It would be a shame not to be me. Honestly, I think I’m pretty great (not to toot my own horn or anything, but toot toot). 😜

Every mistake, bad decision, and crazy moment has led me to where I am now. I can honestly say there are things I’ll never do again, even if they were fun at the time. I’ll admit, I’ve done some stupid things and let myself be knocked down. But that’s life, and I wouldn’t change a thing. I learned from every experience and came out stronger in the end.

Twenty-six years go by fast, and life’s not always easy, especially when things aren’t going well. But you just put a smile on your face and keep pushing through the fire. It gets better with time, and I’m looking forward to making more mistakes in the next twenty years. I hope they’re as fun as the ones I’ve made so far!

No regrets, just LIFE.

Missing my friends like crazy!!!

I’m so grateful to be out of Alabama, but I can’t deny how much I miss my friends! I had an incredible circle of people in my life, and I wish I could tell them how sorry I am for sometimes taking them for granted and not spending more time with them. So many of you feel like family to me. You’ve been my strength through tough times, and you’ve never let me have a bad day. You’ve been my wingmen, drinking buddies, comedians, brothers, sisters, supporters, and true loves in my life.

I’m truly blessed and thankful to know each of you. I hope I can always return the love and support you’ve shown me. Just know that I love you and miss you terribly!

Alex
Thor
Nathan
Ray
Joshie
Tripp
Raquel
Kelly
Rebecca
Catherine
Magz
Chance
Ali
Frances
Felicia

To name just a few of you who have my friendship, love, and loyalty. Also, my shovel, baseball bat, duct tape, and silence whenever you need help with… “issues.” 😉

WTH my dear sweet yet confused EX!

A few of you know my ex. He’s as sweet as can be but can be a bit clueless at times. We broke up almost three years ago, and a year later, he married someone else. Understandably, I was upset, but I stayed friends with him because when you love someone, you love them for who they are, not just their mistakes.

To be honest, I wasn’t a fan of his wife, Melissa (or Mitzi, which sounds a bit like a stripper name, in my opinion). It might have been because she was with the man I spent six years with, teaching and growing with, but that’s neither here nor there.

After a year of marriage, my ex and Melissa ended things on very bad terms, and he left her. Even though we’ve mostly kept in touch through casual texts over the years, nothing too serious, he reached out again when he decided to leave his wife. At first, I didn’t engage much, but then he begged me to call him. He wanted to talk about how much he missed me, how he hadn’t been happy since we were together, and how I was the only one who ever really loved him.

Now, let’s pause for a second. Take a deep breath, because this is where it gets crazy.

So, after all of that, he’s asking me to come see him across the country. Can you say, “What the hell?” Because I sure can.

After everything we went through—six years of living together, loving each other, making plans, paying bills, and then he just drops me and walks away. How can he come back, like nothing happened, and expect me to just pick up where we left off?

I’ve been polite, caring, and concerned for his well-being because, despite everything, I do still care for him. We’ve kept in touch, but I’m not weak. I can’t get back with someone who is still legally married, hasn’t apologized for how he treated me, and I no longer trust or love like I did. My heart has healed, and I’ve come to value his friendship, but that’s all I can offer now.

Maybe, if it’s meant to be, things will change down the road. But for now, I’m happy being with myself, growing and learning into the person I hope to be. As for him, I wish him the best and hope he finds the happiness he deserves.

Update on my mom

The results from the tumor biopsy came back, and unfortunately, it was cancer. We’ve spoken with the doctor about the chances of it returning, whether they were able to remove everything during the surgery, and if any further treatment is necessary. According to the doctor, they will need to perform a follow-up surgery to ensure everything is clear. This procedure will be less invasive than her first surgery, which is a relief. As of now, she won’t need any additional treatments.

Janet (my mom) is in good spirits and has been going about her daily activities. She’s still tired, but has regained a lot of her strength. I’m incredibly proud of her for being so strong and brave throughout this process.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers—they mean so much to my family and me. I’ll continue to keep you all updated as we receive more information. Thanks again, and God bless!

Sexuality decides your friends?...

Over the years, I’ve observed that people tend to segregate themselves by age, gender, race, and sexual preference—often without it being explicitly forced upon us. I’m starting to wonder: Is this behavior learned? Are we taught to gravitate toward people who are like us, or is it that we’re naturally drawn to those with shared experiences or qualities?

As a single, white, bisexual man who prefers the company of other men, my circle of friends is diverse. It includes straight and gay individuals, people of different races, men and women, singles and couples, and even those who are uncertain about their own identity. Admittedly, my current surroundings have led me to spend more time with straight white people, simply due to the lack of diversity in this area. However, I’ve never felt the need to limit myself to a specific group or “click” and have always enjoyed meeting new people and forming connections.

So why is it that some people stick only to specific groups? Why do gay people predominantly surround themselves with other gay individuals, African Americans with other African Americans, and so on? I’m not talking about couples or people seeking relationships, as we all know that when it comes to attraction, a person’s race or background often becomes irrelevant once the connection is there.

Is this tendency to segregate rooted in fear, ignorance, or simply what we’ve been taught is "acceptable" from a young age? Or is it a reflection of our natural inclination to bond with those we feel most comfortable with or understand us best?

Rapture and all

The whole "end of the world, the rapture is coming" talk is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but I’m tired of hearing people, especially self-proclaimed Christians, telling me when and how I’m going to die. How about you just let me live my life and let me meet my fate when it comes, without the constant predictions?

When the rapture happens, I suppose I’ll be here, fighting off Satan, zombies, and demons, while you all float away to your mansions in the sky. (I’m sure heaven doesn't have a problem with luxury living, but I think we can all agree it’s hard to spend eternity in a modest two-bedroom apartment!) I'll be in the company of other sinners and outcasts, just trying to survive and maybe even find my place on the stairway to heaven. And honestly, that’s okay with me—as long as I’m not bombarded with lectures about when I should repent or how I should live.

But before you go, if you wouldn't mind, leave your house unlocked for me. Clean sheets, food, booze, and towels would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and the keys to your car and your gun on the table, just in case I need to make a quick getaway when the zombies arrive. Thanks in advance, and God bless!

Sounds Slutty

Okay, this might sound a little revealing, but I’m okay with it because I know who I am. We all have our needs and desires, and sometimes, those are harder to fulfill when you’re in a new place. For example, moving to a new state and town like I did has definitely changed things. Back home, I had a friends-with-benefits arrangement, which made things easy. But in a small town, there aren’t the same opportunities, like bars, parties, or a large pool of people to connect with.

It's not just the physical part, either. I miss the companionship, the warmth of having someone by my side at night. I know it will be a while before I find someone out here for a meaningful relationship. Honestly, I only know of three gay men across two towns, and even though they’re all great guys, two are already together, and the third isn’t my type. I guess I’ll just have to manage until I make the move to Denver next year.

Hopefully, I can hold out until then. But I’ll just warn anyone around me on particularly "horny" days—they might catch an attitude if they aren’t careful!