People Expecting You to Always Say Hi First (And Why That’s a Little Weird)

 Okay, buckle up, because this might sound like a rant, but I promise it’s coming from a place of frustration, not just me needing to vent. Have you ever had someone say, "You never say hi to me," or "I saw you the other day, and you didn’t come say hi!"? Well, let me tell you, it’s enough to make anyone want to scream, "I’m not your personal greeting committee!"

Am I crazy, or does that just seem a little rude, inconsiderate, and—dare I say it—attention-seeking? I’m from the South, where we’re taught to speak our minds but also show respect and kindness to everyone who behaves in a manner that deserves politeness. But here’s the thing: if I want to talk to you, I’ll approach you and say hello. I’m happy to make the first move, but it’s not my sole responsibility to always be the one to start the conversation or offer the pleasantries. This whole communication thing is a two-way street. I’m not the only one driving here.

And let me tell you, it's usually women who say this sort of thing to me—and sometimes with a side of "I thought it was rude you didn’t acknowledge me." First of all, I’m a proudly gay man with zero interest in seeking attention from women. So, guess what? I don’t owe you anything—especially not an unsolicited hello. But beyond that, when did this become a thing where men have to always initiate communication? I thought feminism was about equality and independence. What happened to that? I’m all for empowerment, but shouldn't we all be equally responsible for creating connections?

Now, let’s talk manners. I’ve actually studied gentleman behavior. Yes, there’s a thing called charm school (it’s still a thing, despite the fact it sounds like something straight out of a rom-com). That’s where you learn how to be polite, how to be considerate, and how to show basic respect. It’s sad that this has kind of fallen out of fashion, but honestly, I think it needs a comeback. I’m not talking about outdated notions like "women must obey" (yikes, no one’s about that anymore)—just simple things like saying "please," "thank you," and referring to people as "sir" or "ma’am." It’s about respect, not submission.

At the end of the day, though, I really just don’t think it should be anyone’s job to always initiate communication. Am I the only one who feels this way? Or am I just the asshole who thinks it's a bit rude when people call you out for not saying hi, when they themselves never bothered to say it first? It’s like when someone says, “You never call or write.” Uh, hello, communication takes effort from both sides, right? Otherwise, we’d all be talking to ourselves—and let’s be honest, that would just make us look crazy.

So here’s my take: if you want to chat, just come over and say hi. I’m happy to engage, but I’m not going to chase you down. After all, we’re all adults, right? Let’s be grown-ups about this whole communication thing.