Okay, this blog entry is more for me than for you, but you might find it interesting anyway.
Forgiveness is something I struggle with. It’s not because I’m a heartless, uncaring person like some might think, but because when someone hurts me, I not only lose faith in them, but my trust is broken as well. I have a hard time letting go and moving on from what’s happened.
As my wonderful cousin, who loves astrology, has pointed out, it’s because I’m a true Leo. I can be proud, stubborn, and quick to anger. These traits can be difficult, I admit, but they also make me who I am: outgoing, friendly, sarcastic, funny, handsome, and very social.
That being said, I’ve been trying to change. I want to be able to forgive and move on without carrying anger, hurt, or ill feelings toward people who do stupid, hurtful things to me. The real challenge isn’t so much the forgiving—it’s the forgetting. When I see people who’ve broken my trust or damaged our relationship, everything that happened comes rushing back, and I quickly put up walls, limiting what I say and do around them.
So how do you truly forgive when you can’t forget? Is true forgiveness possible, or does the anger and hurt always linger in the back of your mind? I think forgiveness is about letting go of that one event, but once trust is broken, it can never fully be restored. The connection with that person will never be the same.
I think the key is to remember, but to also expect the relationship to be different. When the relationship is different, the trust you give is different. If someone has broken that specially earned trust, it's very difficult to just give it back. But if you take it one step at a time, and if you accept the fact that the trust given is different then before, it helps. At least that's what I try to do. I have similar issues. Also, you can forgive someone without wanting to start a relationship, or continue one with them. For what that's worth...
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