Ever have one of those days where you take a little stroll down memory lane and start wondering, what if? Well, that was me this morning after stumbling across an old picture of one of my exes. To protect the not-so-innocent, we’ll stick with initials—and if you know them, oh well. That’s why they’re exes!
The picture I found was from my first real relationship with a guy—D.K. At the time, he was 5'8", had spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and a 29-inch waist. Sounds good, right? He was—aside from the lying, drugs, and cheating. (For the record, every guy mentioned in this blog has done at least one, if not all, of those things to me.)
Curiosity got the best of me, so I did what any Facebook-savvy person would do—I stalked him to see how he’s doing now. LOL!
To my horror (and slight delight), I discovered he had gotten fat. So naturally, I decided to look up all five of my major relationships. And guess what? All but two of them are huge! And I don’t mean a little chubby—I mean going from a 29-inch waist to barely squeezing into a 40-inch waist, with their guts spilling over their belts.
D.K., J.P., A.B.—all fat!
I guess when you screw over the guy who kept you motivated, active, and actually eating healthy, Karma decides to take revenge on your ass—literally.
Now, as for the other two, I was surprised to find one of them, T.P.M., moved back to town—and he’s still alive. Honestly, I didn’t expect that, considering the hardcore drugs he was using and hiding from me back in the day. He came from small-town old money, was a smooth talker, and a passionate lover. But once I found out about the drugs and made it clear I wasn’t okay with it, he seemed to clean up. Unfortunately, just like Lindsay Lohan, he couldn’t stop—he just got better at hiding it. Now, he looks years older than he is and works as a bag boy at a local store.
As for the last one? Well… let’s just say he went from being a cute, artsy twink with potential to a dropout loser in record time. Always drunk or high, willing to use whoever it takes to get there. Now, he’s living back home with his parents. Honestly, he could have been a great artist.
I know I shouldn’t be happy about this, but I’d be lying if I said Karma’s little dose of justice didn’t put a smile on my face. Still, I’m grateful I didn’t let any of them drag me down with them. It’s good to take a look back sometimes—to see the roads we didn’t take and why.
That said, I do hope my exes find happiness, and I genuinely wish them the best in life.
God and Karma, please forgive me.
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