Dating in the gay community can feel like diving into a pool of sharks—it’s survival of the fittest. When an attractive guy walks into a bar, it’s feeding time. Blood has been spilled over fresh faces before, and it probably will be again.
Gay men often date and socialize within overlapping circles, which makes navigating relationships tricky. If you live by the rule, "never date a friend’s ex," you’re eliminating about 80% of your dating pool. The reality is, whether you have a handful of close friends or a thousand casual acquaintances, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll cross paths with someone who’s been with someone you know.
I used to say I’d never date a close friend’s ex, but as I’ve gotten older (and realized how limited the dating scene is, especially in Alabama), my perspective has shifted. The truth is, everyone knows someone who has dated the guy you’re interested in. Whether intentional or not, sooner or later, it happens.
So, what’s the right move when considering dating a friend’s ex? Do you ask for permission to avoid the awkward "I’m dating John Doe…" conversation, followed by "You did what?! You skank! You stole my man!" Or do you just go for it and deal with the fallout later?
Personally, I think honesty is the best approach. If you’re crushing on someone, it’s better to be upfront with your friends. This way, they have the chance to voice their feelings, and you can also get the inside scoop on your potential date before wasting time (or money) on someone who might not be worth it.
Right now, my dating life is in a surprisingly good place—after a long dry spell. Summer wasn’t exactly my season for romance, but with fall on the horizon, a promising new possibility has come along. We’ll see how things unfold, and I’ll be sure to keep you updated!
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