A word of caution: Never rent from a friend. Trust me, it will end badly.

I’m currently renting a house from someone I thought was a good friend, but after five months, it’s become clear that this “friend” has really taken advantage of me. Here’s how it all started:

I was offered the house for $500 a month, which seemed like a great deal at the time. I was told that an account would be set up for easy rent payments and that select furniture would be distributed around the house. The rest was to be stored in the attic, the landlord’s bedroom, and the basement. The neighbors’ landscaper was supposed to mow the yard, but that idea was scrapped by the landlord’s father just before I moved in. Unfortunately, none of these things were ever done.

While the house itself has potential—good basement, lots of storage space, and a generally warm feel—it was completely cluttered with what my landlord claims are antiques. Maybe they once were, but now they’re just broken-down, filthy items that should’ve been tossed. The so-called silver collection he’s so proud of? Tarnished, silver-plated junk that no one would pay more than $40 for.

When I moved in, the house was filthy. There was mold everywhere, rotten food dating back to 2000 in the fridge and pantry, and it took me days to clean it all up. The bathroom floor in the spare bathroom had dried cat litter, and the whole house smelled stale, like old lady perfume. I had to air the place out for three days and use a ton of air freshener to get rid of the smell.

Now that I’ve finally cleaned up the house, my so-called landlord/friend has decided to complain about it. I was told tonight that I’m not a renter, but a “house sitter,” and I’m only allowed to use my room, the guest room, and the kitchen. I’m not supposed to decorate anything except my room.

A few weeks ago, I had some friends over after redecorating the house (which I was told I could do) to show it off. Everyone was amazed by how great it looked and how nice the house smelled. It actually felt like my home—which, by the way, is what a rental property should feel like for the renter.

But now, my landlord wants it to look exactly as it did when he left it, cluttered and messy. So, I’ll be putting everything back as it was and won’t be cleaning any more. Let him come back to his pigsty of a house.

I understand now why no one knew who he was or where he lived—no one wants to deal with his crazy behavior. I’ll stick to my designated areas in the house until I’m done with my "house sitting" duties. Once that’s over, I’m cutting ties with everyone involved. Good riddance to filth and trash.

October Peace, Love, & Life

October is a month full of great things, like Halloween parties, festivals, pumpkin carving, and trick-or-treating. But it's also a time to reflect on important causes, and I want to take a moment to acknowledge some that I’ve participated in this month.

So far, we’ve had the Gathering on the Mound at the University of Alabama, Spirit Day, and today, the "It Gets Better" video shoot on the steps of Gorgas Hall—all events I’m proud to have taken part in.

The Gathering on the Mound was organized by the Spectrum group at UA and provided members of the GLBT community a chance to share their coming-out stories. It was a powerful reminder that it’s okay to be who you are, and that things truly do get better. I’m grateful for the strength I gained by sharing my own story as an openly out member of the GLBT community.

Spirit Day was a nationwide event where participants wore purple to raise awareness about the teen suicide epidemic caused by bullying. It was also a day to remember young gay teens who lost their lives far too soon. It was amazing to see so many people come together in support of this cause.

That same night, Spectrum hosted the Are You Gay/Straight Panel, which aimed to break down stereotypes. A diverse panel of gay, bi, and straight people answered questions from the audience, and at the end, the audience guessed the sexual orientations of the panelists. I had the opportunity to surprise the crowd by sharing that I am bisexual, with a preference for men but also enjoying time with women.

Today, I’m excited to take part in the "It Gets Better" video shoot at Gorgas Hall. This video will be added to the Trevor Project’s "It Gets Better" website, offering hope to teens and young adults struggling with their identities. We want them to know that no matter what they’re going through, it does get better—and there is always someone willing to lend a helping hand.

Lastly, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, a time to remember the friends, family, and loved ones we’ve lost to this disease. I encourage everyone to support the fight for a cure. On October 29th, join the Pinking Out Movement by wearing pink to show your support. If you don't have pink, you can still help raise awareness—change your profile picture, spread the word, or do whatever you can to show that we’re in this fight together.

Let’s make this October a wonderful pink and purple month! God bless you all.

Watch the "It Gets Better" video here

Crush

I don’t know why I do this to myself. I always end up crushing on people who are either out of my league or simply wouldn’t work in the long run. Don’t get me wrong—I love the thrill of a crush, the chase, and the potential for a fun, new connection. But it’s funny how every time I get that excited, googly-eyed feeling, it’s for one of two types:

1. The confident, sexy partier who always leads to trouble and can’t be tamed.
2. The clean-cut, sweet, country type who’s perfect for introducing to mom, but too much of a goody-goody to handle my wild side.

I guess it doesn’t matter, though, since I’m too shy to approach either of the two people I’m crushing on right now. I can’t believe I’m admitting I’m shy—maybe it’s more that I’m scared. I really hate rejection.

Misunderstood: Setting the Record Straight

I don’t understand how some people feel they know me better than I know myself. According to a few, I’m apparently on a mission to find a partner and settle down, I drink every day, I’m a slut, and I think I’m better than everyone else. Really? Did you climb into my head and start thinking for me?

Here’s the truth: I was in a relationship for six years, and from that, I learned that I’m not ready to settle down. I need time to focus on myself and simply date.

As for the claim that I think I’m better than others—let’s be real. I’m probably one of the most self-conscious people you’ll meet. I struggle with feeling like I don’t measure up. I don’t think I’m better or worse than anyone else; I’m just me. I understand that everyone has their battles, and I don’t believe anyone is perfect. It would be hypocritical of me to think I’m above anyone else.

Now, the "slut" label? That one cracks me up. I’ve slept with far fewer people than half the people talking about me. Yes, I’ve been known to make out and flirt shamelessly from time to time, but that’s the extent of it. I’m not out here getting laid left and right, and I’d happily admit it if I were. But that’s simply not true.

As for drinking, I’m a social drinker. I go out once or twice a week with friends and have a beer or two. Who doesn’t? I’m not an everyday drinker, and I’m certainly not a regular at the ABC store. I’m not planning on visiting any rehab centers, but if you feel the need to judge, maybe take a look at your own habits first. Don’t call the kettle black if you don’t want your own flaws pointed out. After all, just as you talk about me, others are probably talking about you too.

Learning to Love Myself

We all have a few things about ourselves that we don’t find attractive, and it can be tough to learn to love those parts. Body image is a complex thing, and it’s hard to make progress if you don’t first learn to love yourself. For years, I’ve struggled with my weight and my hairy chest, but I’m working on it. I’ve come to realize that my view of myself isn’t necessarily how others see me.

Last night was a breakthrough for me. Thanks to a dinner party and a Britney Glee viewing event, I found the courage not just to show my body to my friends, but to the entire gay community of Tuscaloosa. I went out wearing nothing but an open blazer, a tie, a smile, and a hot pair of red Jessica Simpson heels—just for fun. (Shoutout to Elizabeth for the shoe loan!)

Looking over the pictures today, I was surprised to find that I wasn’t as hard on myself as I thought I’d be. That’s mostly because my friends had my back, and I had an absolute blast dancing and showing the world—and myself—that for one night, I didn’t care about anyone’s opinions or my flaws. I felt attractive and truly comfortable in my own skin.

It felt amazing to embrace myself physically for just one night. I’m so used to covering up my flaws, trying to look heavier, and hiding my chest as much as possible. But maybe this is a sign that I’m growing more comfortable with who I am. I’m proud of myself for this step forward.

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Ever have one of those days where you take a little stroll down memory lane and start wondering, what if? Well, that was me this morning after stumbling across an old picture of one of my exes. To protect the not-so-innocent, we’ll stick with initials—and if you know them, oh well. That’s why they’re exes!

The picture I found was from my first real relationship with a guy—D.K. At the time, he was 5'8", had spiky blond hair, blue eyes, and a 29-inch waist. Sounds good, right? He was—aside from the lying, drugs, and cheating. (For the record, every guy mentioned in this blog has done at least one, if not all, of those things to me.)

Curiosity got the best of me, so I did what any Facebook-savvy person would do—I stalked him to see how he’s doing now. LOL!

To my horror (and slight delight), I discovered he had gotten fat. So naturally, I decided to look up all five of my major relationships. And guess what? All but two of them are huge! And I don’t mean a little chubby—I mean going from a 29-inch waist to barely squeezing into a 40-inch waist, with their guts spilling over their belts.

D.K., J.P., A.B.—all fat!

I guess when you screw over the guy who kept you motivated, active, and actually eating healthy, Karma decides to take revenge on your ass—literally.

Now, as for the other two, I was surprised to find one of them, T.P.M., moved back to town—and he’s still alive. Honestly, I didn’t expect that, considering the hardcore drugs he was using and hiding from me back in the day. He came from small-town old money, was a smooth talker, and a passionate lover. But once I found out about the drugs and made it clear I wasn’t okay with it, he seemed to clean up. Unfortunately, just like Lindsay Lohan, he couldn’t stop—he just got better at hiding it. Now, he looks years older than he is and works as a bag boy at a local store.

As for the last one? Well… let’s just say he went from being a cute, artsy twink with potential to a dropout loser in record time. Always drunk or high, willing to use whoever it takes to get there. Now, he’s living back home with his parents. Honestly, he could have been a great artist.

I know I shouldn’t be happy about this, but I’d be lying if I said Karma’s little dose of justice didn’t put a smile on my face. Still, I’m grateful I didn’t let any of them drag me down with them. It’s good to take a look back sometimes—to see the roads we didn’t take and why.

That said, I do hope my exes find happiness, and I genuinely wish them the best in life.

God and Karma, please forgive me.

Respect Isn’t That Hard

 Maybe it’s just me, but the concept of respect doesn’t seem that difficult to grasp. It’s simple: treat others the way you’d want to be treated. If you claim to respect your friends and loved ones, then show it—through your actions and words. If someone asks you a question, tell them the truth. There’s no need to lie. A real friend will accept your answer, no matter what it is, as long as it’s honest.

Now, if I let you stay with me for a few days so you can find a place and a job, please respect my wishes. If all I ask is that you don’t have people over while I’m not home, then don’t have people over. I’m giving you free room and board, clothes when you need them, and food and drinks. The least you can do is go to your friend’s (or trick’s) place if you want to hang out. Having strangers in my home when I’m not there is a serious violation of my comfort zone and trust. And honestly, it’s awkward as hell to walk into my house and see some random guy sitting on my couch staring at me. No matter how cute he is, my first thoughts are: shoot, run, and—on second glance—maybe even rape (LOL).

I love my friends and family, and God knows I’ll do anything to help them when they need it. But I just wish they understood that sometimes I need help too. Like everyone else, I have hard times, and every once in a blue moon, I could use a shoulder to lean on. The least you can do is clean up if you’re going to bring people over uninvited. I hate my place looking like a mess. I only have time to clean on my off days, which are early in the week, so if people drop by on the weekends, it might look like I never clean.

Let’s just be respectful—to everyone—regardless of who they are and how we know them. I believe in Karma, and I know she can be a real bitch if you screw her over. So show some love and remember to treat others how you’d want to be treated!

God bless.

Where Have All the Good Guys Gone?

I’m genuinely lost on where all the good guys have vanished to. And no, I’m not talking about the tweaked-out, drunk, tranny messes or the twinks who practically live at the local gay bars. I mean the sweet, romantic guys—the ones who enjoy a night out now and then but prefer spending time with close friends or the guy they’re seeing. Why is it so easy to find the wrong kind of guy but never the one you actually need in your life?

I’m not asking for Mr. Right—I don’t think I’m ready for him yet. But I do love the idea of being in love and having a committed relationship (or as committed as two gay men can be—let’s be real, men are whores). I’m fine with a little play, as long as it’s upfront and preferably involves me. And yeah, that might sound a bit jaded, but when have I ever been PC?

I’d like to find someone I can actually spend time with, maybe even settle down with one day—but not just yet. I’m still young. Partnership can wait at least until I hit 30, which is still a few years away from my “23ish” life right now. If something serious happens before then, I won’t fight it, but I just want more than the random tricks and the exhausting cycle of one or two bad dates.

I want someone to hold at night. Someone I can call just to talk about our day. Someone to have a nice dinner with. Nothing too serious—just something that feels like more than a hookup, but not quite a husband situation yet. Every once in a while, this world can feel a little lonely, and it would be nice to have someone there. Does that make sense without sounding like a romance novel turned cheesy Lifetime movie?

Wow, I’m rambling about finding someone like a teenage fat girl two weeks before prom—right after realizing Edward Cullen is actually just some pasty English dude with bad teeth. Ugh. I hate the idea of being that guy. And yet, here I am, realizing there’s not much difference between gay men looking for love and women looking for love—except that gay men usually dress better and have more options. (Even if those options suck.)

Oh well, here’s hoping that something—or someone—good is just around the corner.

Welcoming Fall

Tonight is one of those perfect, crisp evenings. A cool breeze is in the air, and the stars are shining bright. I’m already thinking about breakfast on the front porch tomorrow—French toast, scrambled eggs, bacon, and a cup of lemon tea. Sounds like the perfect way to start the day.

Fall is almost here, and I couldn’t be more excited. I’m tempted to start decorating already—it’s my favorite season, after all. I can’t wait to bring out the warm crimson and burnt orange décor, hang silver lights, and fill the house with the scent of rich autumn candles. There’s just something about this time of year that always makes me smile. And who knows? Maybe this year, I’ll be curled up by the fire with a cute guy and a cup of hot cocoa. Fall is the perfect season for love and romance.

And let’s not forget—fall means college football! Alabama takes the field for its first game this Saturday, and I’ll be tailgating for a bit before heading to work. Thankfully, I’ll have the radio with me to keep up with the game and cheer on the Crimson Tide. Roll Tide Roll!

Yes, this “skinny gay guy” is a hardcore Bama football fan. Growing up in the South, I’ve always loved sports—it happens, deal with it! I’m counting down the days until I can be off work for a home game, spending the day on campus with fellow fans. If you’re not already a fan, you should definitely tune in this season. Alabama has 13 National Championships—need I say more?

One of Those Days

Ever had one of those days where everything seems to pile up, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and underappreciated? Well, welcome to my today. Between work projects, family obligations, bills, and household tasks, my to-do list is never-ending.

I started my day with the best intentions, determined to tackle my projects. But as soon as I checked one thing off, five more seemed to appear. Just when I finally felt like I was making progress, I got a call from a friend at 6 p.m. with a lovely update—my landlord is coming by tomorrow. Oh, and the lawn needs to be mowed, and the house needs to be spotless.

Now, let’s break this down:

• It’s getting dark.
• I work nights and have been going nonstop all day.
• I just got out of the shower and am getting ready for work.

So, no, I’m not about to mow the lawn at 6 p.m., especially when I’ve been the only one keeping this house clean while others have done… well, nothing.

That said, I’ll be the bigger person and take care of the lawn in the morning after my shift. On the bright side, the floors are swept and mopped, the counters are wiped down, and the living room is finally free of the chaos that once consumed it. The house is cleaner than it was before I moved in, and honestly, I finally feel comfortable in it.

Now, time to get through the rest of the day. Wish me luck!

Dating in the Gay Community: Navigating the Shark Tank

Dating in the gay community can feel like diving into a pool of sharks—it’s survival of the fittest. When an attractive guy walks into a bar, it’s feeding time. Blood has been spilled over fresh faces before, and it probably will be again.

Gay men often date and socialize within overlapping circles, which makes navigating relationships tricky. If you live by the rule, "never date a friend’s ex," you’re eliminating about 80% of your dating pool. The reality is, whether you have a handful of close friends or a thousand casual acquaintances, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll cross paths with someone who’s been with someone you know.

I used to say I’d never date a close friend’s ex, but as I’ve gotten older (and realized how limited the dating scene is, especially in Alabama), my perspective has shifted. The truth is, everyone knows someone who has dated the guy you’re interested in. Whether intentional or not, sooner or later, it happens.

So, what’s the right move when considering dating a friend’s ex? Do you ask for permission to avoid the awkward "I’m dating John Doe…" conversation, followed by "You did what?! You skank! You stole my man!" Or do you just go for it and deal with the fallout later?

Personally, I think honesty is the best approach. If you’re crushing on someone, it’s better to be upfront with your friends. This way, they have the chance to voice their feelings, and you can also get the inside scoop on your potential date before wasting time (or money) on someone who might not be worth it.

Right now, my dating life is in a surprisingly good place—after a long dry spell. Summer wasn’t exactly my season for romance, but with fall on the horizon, a promising new possibility has come along. We’ll see how things unfold, and I’ll be sure to keep you updated!

New Beginning

I’ve had several new beginnings in my life—especially in the past few years. New jobs, new homes, new friends, and new relationships. But this time, it feels different. This feels like a true fresh start.

Something has shifted in me over the past few weeks, though I can’t quite put it into words. What I do know is that I like it. I’ve naturally begun distancing myself from old habits and routines, trading them for a newfound sense of adventure and curiosity. The anger I once held onto is fading, and my passion for life is growing stronger every day. I find myself reading more about the world, expressing my opinions openly, and embracing change with a clear mind.

I’m also making positive choices for myself—cutting back on drinking and partying, focusing on my goals, and surrounding myself with people who uplift and inspire me. In fact, I think I’ve met a friend who brings a great energy into my life with his humor and spirit.

For the first time in a while, I feel excited about the future. I’ve come through some of the toughest moments with dignity and self-worth intact, and I’m proud of the person I’m becoming. I hope my friends and family can see that growth as well. It’s time to step up, shake off procrastination, and fully commit to the goals I’ve set for myself.

Let’s see where this journey takes me! Wish me luck, and stay tuned for what’s next.

Love

Love is something I find difficult to explain. Many people my age believe life is about chasing fleeting experiences, indulging in casual encounters, and simply having a good time. But I’ve come to realize that love and sex are two very different things. Love is what makes a home, binds two people together, and gives life meaning. To love and be loved in return is one of the simplest yet most profound desires we can have. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit—empty and unfulfilled.

Sex, on the other hand, is temporary. It’s an act, a moment between two people, a means of release. It serves a purpose, but it does not define a person or determine their worth.

I’ve only truly been in love once, and it took me a long time to recover from it. I no longer see love through the idealistic lens I once did. Growing up, I believed in the kind of love found in Disney movies—the kind that’s effortless, everlasting, and destined to happen only once in a lifetime. Then I found love, and I lost it. Six years of building a life together ended in an instant, and for a long time, everything felt colorless.

Now, with a more cautious heart and a bit of earned wisdom, I guard myself. I see no reason to play games or engage in meaningless flings. I’ve known for years what I want out of life and love. I still want that fairytale romance—but with a dose of reality. I want the stability of a home, the companionship of a loving partner, and maybe not kids, but definitely dogs. I want to be a hardworking husband, devoted to building something real and lasting.

But how do you find that kind of love? Or does love find you? I believe love is unpredictable, arriving when you least expect it. At least, that’s what I hope. I dream of meeting someone with ambition, intelligence, and integrity—someone who, like me, has been shaped by both love and loss. Perhaps there’s a slightly jaded Disney prince out there looking for the same balance of romance and reality.

I like to believe there’s someone for everyone. And when the time is right, love will find its way.

Gay Relationships

Like many people in this country, I have a few thoughts on this topic. First, let me be clear—I am a gay man, and my opinions are my own. I am not speaking on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community, nor am I trying to represent anyone other than myself. If you're looking for an official perspective, I encourage you to visit resources like the GLBT website.

On Identity and Self-Expression

I want to address some things I see happening in the LGBTQ+ community, particularly among younger gay men and lesbian women. I often wonder—what is your inspiration in life, and what are you trying to prove by modeling yourselves after pop icons and reality TV stars? Don't get me wrong, like many others, I like Lady Gaga, Cher, and the great Pop, Disco, and R&B divas. But let’s remember—they are not gods. My faith lies in Jesus, not in overhyped, digitally enhanced celebrities. If idolization is your primary form of self-expression, you may be missing out on the most authentic version of yourself. You have a personality that is uniquely yours—embrace it, let it shine, and don’t lose yourself in someone else's image. Many of the stars we admire today will eventually fade, just like their spray tans. Not everything that glitters is gold.

On Masculinity and Stereotypes

Another thing I’ve noticed is the tendency for some men to dramatically change how they present themselves after coming out—often becoming overly feminized or adopting exaggerated mannerisms. Is this a trend? Has "gay" become synonymous with "pansy"? I grew up in the South, in a small town where I fished, hunted, and played sports (albeit not very well). I was raised with the belief that being a man meant taking care of your family and loved ones. Being gay doesn’t make me any less of a man—in fact, it makes me stronger because I face judgment at every turn.

I want to see my fellow gay men stand with pride and confidence, proving that we are just as hardworking and resilient as we were before coming out. It takes courage to tell the world you are gay—so why lose that strength once you're out? That being said, if you are naturally more expressive or flamboyant, be who you are. My point is not to suppress anyone's true self, but rather to encourage people not to conform to stereotypes out of fear or social pressure. True masculinity is about integrity, self-respect, and how you treat others. When you leave this world, your legacy should be one of character, proving that one man can make a difference.

On Dating and Relationships

Now, let’s talk about dating and marriage. When you first come out, like any young adult—gay or straight—you have some living to do. You will date, have relationships, and yes, probably explore your sexuality. That’s part of life. But remember, your actions affect more than just yourself. Be smart—use protection.

More importantly, take the time to love. Sex is fun, but it’s even better when it’s meaningful. As a community, we are fighting for equal rights, and how we present ourselves does matter. We’ve all heard the negative stereotypes: that gay people are promiscuous, that we spread disease, and that we mock marriage and traditional values. We know these things aren’t true, but perceptions shape public opinion.

At the end of the day, all we want is the same rights as everyone else—the right to marry, to receive the same tax benefits, to be in the hospital with our partners without pretending to be "brothers," and to raise families without fear of discrimination. So let’s not feed into the negative narratives. Instead, let’s promote strength, pride, love, and happiness—because those are the qualities that make us equal and great.

Rights and Freedoms!

I believe in everyone's right to express their thoughts and opinions, which is why I’ve decided to start this blog. This is my space to share my views and speak openly about the things on my mind. While I may not always be the most eloquent or up-to-date on every issue, one thing is certain—I speak my mind freely, sometimes bluntly.

For those who choose to read along, I hope you can appreciate my perspective and occasional offbeat sense of humor. Consider this your fair warning before the storm.