Let’s Talk Finance: Budgeting Without the Dread for Beginners

 Alright, folks, let’s dive into the world of finance. As a financial planner who grew up with very little in Alabama—raised by an amazing dad who had limited education, no financial literacy, and even less of an idea about how to manage money while raising four kids on his own for a few years—I can honestly say I learned a lot of the financial wisdom I’m about to share with you the hard way. From saving to spending, and yes, even budgeting (cue the collective groan), it took me years of trial and error to figure out what works.

But here’s the good news: I’m here to save you from that struggle. And the first step? Budgeting. Now, I know that word alone can send shivers down your spine, but trust me—it’s not as scary as it sounds. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful tools you have to gain control over your finances and start building the financial stability you deserve.

Let’s start with the hard part: budgeting. Yes, I promise it’s not as terrible as it seems. To create a simple budget, the first thing you need to figure out is where all your money is going. Do you have multiple accounts—checking, savings, credit cards? If so, start gathering all that information. I recommend beginning with your checking account, the one where your paycheck is deposited.

If you have online banking (and I’m really hoping you do in this day and age), take a look at your transactions from the last two months. Write down everything that’s coming out of your account—the bills, groceries, subscriptions, the works. If you're anything like me, you’ll probably discover a few double subscriptions or services you didn’t even realize you were paying for. Don’t worry—once you see it, you can always cancel those extras and save some cash.

Now that you’ve tackled the hardest part (congratulations!), take a deep breath and give yourself a mental high-five. You’re on the right track.

Next up, take the same approach with your savings and credit cards. Do the same thing—write down your transactions, and take note of when bills are due. Double-check these dates with the billing company, either by looking at your billing statement or calling them directly. Knowing the exact due date is crucial for the next step—figuring out when to pay based on when you get paid. And if you’re behind or have a late payment, don’t be afraid to reach out to the company to ask about setting up a payment plan or requesting an extension. Many companies are willing to work with you, especially if you communicate your situation.

Now, let’s talk timing. When do you get paid—weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly? If you’re paid weekly, you probably won’t need to adjust your payment dates. But if you’re on a bi-weekly or monthly pay cycle, it’s time to take a look at how your bills line up with your paychecks. Can you afford to pay all the bills that are due during a particular pay period and still have enough left for food, transportation, and—yes—savings? If not, look at your next pay period. If those bills fall into that window, consider asking the billing company to move the due date for some of them. A little tweaking can take a huge load off your shoulders and, hopefully, help you sleep a little easier.

Once you’ve gone through all of this, make sure to write everything down or type it up. This will be your go-to reference as you continue managing your finances.

In my next post, we’ll talk about what to do with the savings you’ll start to uncover as you fine-tune your custom budget. Stay tuned—financial freedom is closer than you think!

People Expecting You to Always Say Hi First (And Why That’s a Little Weird)

 Okay, buckle up, because this might sound like a rant, but I promise it’s coming from a place of frustration, not just me needing to vent. Have you ever had someone say, "You never say hi to me," or "I saw you the other day, and you didn’t come say hi!"? Well, let me tell you, it’s enough to make anyone want to scream, "I’m not your personal greeting committee!"

Am I crazy, or does that just seem a little rude, inconsiderate, and—dare I say it—attention-seeking? I’m from the South, where we’re taught to speak our minds but also show respect and kindness to everyone who behaves in a manner that deserves politeness. But here’s the thing: if I want to talk to you, I’ll approach you and say hello. I’m happy to make the first move, but it’s not my sole responsibility to always be the one to start the conversation or offer the pleasantries. This whole communication thing is a two-way street. I’m not the only one driving here.

And let me tell you, it's usually women who say this sort of thing to me—and sometimes with a side of "I thought it was rude you didn’t acknowledge me." First of all, I’m a proudly gay man with zero interest in seeking attention from women. So, guess what? I don’t owe you anything—especially not an unsolicited hello. But beyond that, when did this become a thing where men have to always initiate communication? I thought feminism was about equality and independence. What happened to that? I’m all for empowerment, but shouldn't we all be equally responsible for creating connections?

Now, let’s talk manners. I’ve actually studied gentleman behavior. Yes, there’s a thing called charm school (it’s still a thing, despite the fact it sounds like something straight out of a rom-com). That’s where you learn how to be polite, how to be considerate, and how to show basic respect. It’s sad that this has kind of fallen out of fashion, but honestly, I think it needs a comeback. I’m not talking about outdated notions like "women must obey" (yikes, no one’s about that anymore)—just simple things like saying "please," "thank you," and referring to people as "sir" or "ma’am." It’s about respect, not submission.

At the end of the day, though, I really just don’t think it should be anyone’s job to always initiate communication. Am I the only one who feels this way? Or am I just the asshole who thinks it's a bit rude when people call you out for not saying hi, when they themselves never bothered to say it first? It’s like when someone says, “You never call or write.” Uh, hello, communication takes effort from both sides, right? Otherwise, we’d all be talking to ourselves—and let’s be honest, that would just make us look crazy.

So here’s my take: if you want to chat, just come over and say hi. I’m happy to engage, but I’m not going to chase you down. After all, we’re all adults, right? Let’s be grown-ups about this whole communication thing.

Political Anger!!

 As I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve left Facebook and Instagram, and I’m making a conscious effort to avoid most U.S. political media—especially the endless cycle of misinformation and manufactured outrage. I refuse to waste my time listening to or reading anything from Donald Trump (a man who is neither a president nor a king but a buffoon) or his lapdog Elon Musk (a billionaire who acts like he’s above consequence). The lies, the hate, the division—it’s exhausting.

But what truly baffles me is why so many Americans are simply allowing this to happen. Why are we standing by while our country’s reputation crumbles? Our ties with allies are being severed, our international credibility is in shambles, and yet, many continue to pretend that everything is fine. The so-called "American Dream" has been dead for years, yet people cling to the illusion that all is well. Meanwhile, politicians and billionaires hoard power and wealth while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet.

Where is our outrage? Where is our fight?

We should be demanding better. We should be out in the streets, making our voices heard, showing those in power that we will not be ignored. The government works for us, not the other way around. Our leaders, our politicians, and the ultra-wealthy who think they control this country should be reminded of that fact.

It’s time for action. We need to stand together and refuse to support businesses that align with hate, corruption, and greed. Companies that have abandoned DEI initiatives, like Tesla, Amazon, and Target, don’t deserve our money. Instead, we should uplift local businesses, support international allies affected by unfair tariffs, and show solidarity with those fighting for a fairer world.

And let’s stop buying into the lies. Fox News and social media propaganda are not sources of truth. If we want real change, we need to stay informed, think critically, and refuse to be manipulated by fear tactics and manufactured division.

America is at a crossroads. We can either continue to sit back and watch as things spiral further out of control, or we can take a stand.

Let’s choose action. Let’s choose unity. Let’s choose a better future.

Stand up. Be heard. Reject hate. Demand change.

Finding my time and self again! Social Media Detox

 Hello World!! I deleted all social media from my phone, and I have to say—it’s been a game-changer. Like so many people, I’ve spent countless hours mindlessly scrolling, falling into the trap of FOMO (fear of missing out), and letting my time slip away. Looking back, I’m honestly amazed at how much of my life I wasted watching endless videos and reading memes, when I could have been doing something far more meaningful.

Since removing social media from my phone—and completely deleting certain toxic platforms like Facebook and Instagram—I’ve discovered an incredible amount of free time. But beyond just time, the mental and emotional benefits have been even more exciting.

I’ve always been an overthinker, constantly worried about how I present myself online and in person. Leaving social media behind has relieved so much of that stress. No longer am I bombarded with political arguments, carefully curated highlight reels, or the pressure to measure up to someone else's filtered reality. Instead, I feel more present, more engaged, and far more content with my own journey.

Without the constant distractions, I’ve been able to truly focus on my work, hobbies, and personal growth. I’m studying for my financial license, diving into AI, and planning my move overseas. I’ve also found myself having deeper, more meaningful conversations with friends and family—whether through text or in person—rather than passively engaging through likes and comments. Without the impulse to check my phone every few minutes, I feel more connected to the people around me and more appreciative of life’s real moments.

Breaking free from the dopamine addiction of social media has been like hitting a reset button on my brain’s reward system. For years, I felt trapped in a cycle of endless ads, memes, and picture-perfect snapshots of other people’s lives, which inevitably led to self-comparison. Despite all my accomplishments, I sometimes felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Now? That feeling is practically gone. I know my worth, and I no longer seek external validation through social media.

With social media off my phone, I’ve rekindled my love for hobbies and real-world activities that bring me joy. I’ve gotten back into reading and listening to audiobooks, exercising, blogging, learning a new language, decluttering my home, and even painting. I’ve also reconnected with my Buddhist studies and meditation practice.

Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to quit social media entirely. I still have a few accounts, but I’ve set boundaries—I can only access them from my laptop, which I primarily use for work and writing. This simple change has significantly reduced my screen time. Now, I only log in for about an hour or two once a week, and honestly, I rarely even think about it anymore.

If you’ve ever felt like social media is draining your energy or taking time away from what truly matters, I encourage you to try removing it from your phone. Replace the habit with music, podcasts, or audiobooks. Trust me, stepping away from social media won’t hurt your social life—it will actually make you more social in the real world.

If you decide to make a change, I wish you the best of luck. You might be surprised at how much life you gain back.