The whole "end of the world, the rapture is coming" talk is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but I’m tired of hearing people, especially self-proclaimed Christians, telling me when and how I’m going to die. How about you just let me live my life and let me meet my fate when it comes, without the constant predictions?
When the rapture happens, I suppose I’ll be here, fighting off Satan, zombies, and demons, while you all float away to your mansions in the sky. (I’m sure heaven doesn't have a problem with luxury living, but I think we can all agree it’s hard to spend eternity in a modest two-bedroom apartment!) I'll be in the company of other sinners and outcasts, just trying to survive and maybe even find my place on the stairway to heaven. And honestly, that’s okay with me—as long as I’m not bombarded with lectures about when I should repent or how I should live.
But before you go, if you wouldn't mind, leave your house unlocked for me. Clean sheets, food, booze, and towels would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and the keys to your car and your gun on the table, just in case I need to make a quick getaway when the zombies arrive. Thanks in advance, and God bless!
haha ={D
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