Let Go and Recharge

 We all have those days when we wake up feeling tired, worn out, sad, and unattractive—especially as we get older and start noticing changes in our bodies. The inevitable signs of aging, like crow's feet, wrinkles, or weight gain, can leave us questioning ourselves. So, what do we do? Well, if you're anything like me, you overthink it, beat yourself up, and start blaming yourself for not being more active, for neglecting your skincare routine, for not eating a balanced diet, or for drinking a little too much.

Sure, these factors can contribute to how we feel and how we look, but is it really worth it to be so hard on ourselves just because we think we have to look a certain way? Where does all this negative self-talk come from? I believe it stems from the constant pressure to fit into an image that society pushes on us. We’re told men should be muscular with chiseled V-shaped waists, tree trunk arms, and a full head of hair. We’re told women should look like stick-thin supermodels, with flawless skin and perfect bodies. But the truth is, not all men are built like that, and not all women fit into that narrow standard of beauty.

We’ve got to break free from the mindset that we have to live up to society's impossible standards, whether they’re from media, social media, or advertisements. It’s okay to have weight gain. It’s okay to have stretch marks, dark circles under your eyes, and to not always feel your best. In fact, those imperfections don’t take away from your beauty—they are a part of you.

I’m tired of letting others, and even myself, label me. We spend so much time trying to fit in, to be someone else, or to live up to an image that isn’t our own. It's time to take the pressure off. It’s okay to feel tired, to feel unattractive, and to have those days when you’re not at your best. As Ella Henderson sings in her song "Ugly," "One day I'm beautiful, then I'm ugly, but those days remind me that I am human."

Let’s remember that we’re not here to impress everyone. We’re here to impress ourselves. And I’ve started telling myself, especially on those days when I don’t feel my best, that I am beautiful, I am worthy, and I am deserving of everything this life has to offer.

If you find yourself in a negative headspace like I do sometimes, I recommend taking a day for yourself. Step away from the pressures and do something that recharges you. Wear your favorite outfit, take a break from work, cancel plans that you weren’t really excited about, and do something that brings you joy. For me, it’s a visit to the plant nursery or a stroll through a botanical garden, with a cup of coffee in hand. Nature has a way of helping me reconnect with the world outside the constant buzz of screens and social media.

Remember, self-care is just as important—if not more important—than being there for everyone else. Sometimes, we just need to be there for ourselves. Take a moment to relax, to breathe, and to recharge, so you don’t burn out. You are enough, just as you are.

Investing: The Key to Financial Freedom (And Why You Should Start Now)

 Ah, investing. It’s like the magical act that turns your money into more money—the kind of wizardry that rich folks have been practicing for years while the rest of us were stuck in the daily grind. For the longest time, I believed that working paycheck to paycheck was just my fate. But then, I discovered investing, and suddenly I realized I didn’t have to live that way forever.

So, let’s dive into the world of investing for beginners. I know it can sound intimidating, but trust me, once you get the hang of it, it’s not nearly as scary as it seems. First things first: let’s talk about some of the most common types of retirement accounts you’ll encounter—401(k)s, Traditional IRAs, and Roth IRAs. These are all retirement savings accounts, but they each have different rules when it comes to taxes, contributions, and withdrawals.

1. 401(k): The Employer-Sponsored Retirement Account

Let’s start with the classic—the 401(k). If you’re working a job, there’s a good chance your company offers a 401(k) plan. And here’s the kicker: many employers will match your contributions (yes, free money!). So, if you put in a certain percentage of your paycheck, your company might kick in some extra cash, usually anywhere from 1% to 10%. Not too shabby, right?

The easiest way to invest in your 401(k) is to have a percentage automatically deducted from your paycheck. It’s like set it and forget it—you won’t even notice it’s happening until you check your account balance. (And when you do, it’ll feel like a pleasant surprise.)

The money you put into a 401(k) is pre-tax, which means it comes out of your paycheck before Uncle Sam gets his cut. This helps reduce your taxable income. However, keep in mind there are withdrawal rules. You can start taking money out without penalties once you hit the age of 59 ½. Before that, any early withdrawals could incur a 10% penalty, plus taxes. Yikes.

If you leave your job, don’t forget to transfer your 401(k) to a financial service company like Fidelity or Charles Schwab. I personally use Fidelity for their amazing customer service and user-friendly website. The great thing about these companies is they’ll manage your investments for you—either for free or for a small fee if you decide to work with a financial advisor. You won’t have to worry about picking individual stocks or bonds because your money will likely go into something called ETFs (Exchange-Traded Funds).

ETFs are a great way to spread out your risk while still growing your money. For example, your 401(k) might be invested in something like the S&P 500 (which tracks the top 500 US companies) or the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF (which gives you exposure to the entire US stock market). Both are excellent choices for long-term growth. There’s also the Vanguard Total World Stock ETF, which focuses on emerging markets with high growth potential.

2. Traditional IRA: A Tax-Deferral Option

Now, let’s talk about Traditional IRAs. This is another type of retirement account that works similarly to your 401(k). Anyone can open a Traditional IRA, and like the 401(k), it has tax rules and guidelines you’ll need to follow.

Contributions to a Traditional IRA may be tax-deductible, depending on your income and whether you already have a 401(k) at work. Plus, the investments inside the account grow tax-deferred, meaning you don’t pay taxes on the gains until you withdraw the money later. However, when you do withdraw, the money is taxed as ordinary income.

The withdrawal rules for IRAs are similar to the 401(k)—you can’t take out money without penalties until you’re at least 59 ½.

3. Roth IRA: The Tax-Free Growth Option

Last but certainly not least is the Roth IRA. This account works a little differently than the others because you’re contributing after-tax dollars. That means you’ve already paid taxes on the money before you contribute it, but the magic happens when the investments grow—tax-free.

Yes, you heard me right. All your investments in a Roth IRA will grow without being taxed, and when you withdraw the money in retirement, it’s completely tax-free—including any gains. This is an excellent choice if you expect to be in a higher tax bracket when you retire and want to avoid paying taxes on your withdrawals.

Which One Should You Choose?

To summarize:

• 401(k) with a company match: Contribute at least enough to get the match—because, hello, free money.

• Traditional IRA: Ideal if you want a tax deduction now and expect to be in a lower tax bracket in retirement.

• Roth IRA: Perfect if you think you’ll be in a higher tax bracket later and want tax-free withdrawals in retirement.

Start Small, Build Over Time

The key to investing is to start small and build over time. Don’t feel like you need to max out everything right away. The most important thing is to develop good money habits today, and over time, you’ll see some big financial wins down the road.

So, are you ready to start investing? Remember, the earlier you begin, the more time your money has to grow. So, let’s get those retirement accounts rolling! Stay tuned for the next post, where we’ll dive even deeper into the world of investing. Happy investing, everyone!

Savings: What to Do With That Extra Cash (Besides Spending It on Amazon)

 Alright, we’ve already tackled the tough stuff—creating a budget, figuring out how and when to pay your bills like the responsible adult you are, and maybe even discovering a little hidden treasure in your bank account (hello, extra dollar or two!). So, now that you’ve got some extra cash, what should you do with it?

Well, before you head to the bar or pull the trigger on that Amazon purchase you’ve been eyeing (even though you know deep down you don’t really need it), let’s talk about your options. Why not splurge, you ask? Well, I’ve got a couple of reasons for you to think twice.

First off, if you’re reading my posts, chances are you’re serious about achieving financial freedom. You want to retire when you choose—not when you run out of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to stop throwing your money away on short-term indulgences and start thinking long-term. And I’m not just talking about getting out of debt—I’m talking about growing your money. So, let’s talk savings.

Now, I know I’ve mentioned savings a few times, but here’s the big advice that’s bound to make you scratch your head: You can’t save yourself to wealth. Yep, I said it. You can’t expect to build wealth with a traditional savings account. While having a basic savings account for emergencies, a future home, or a travel fund is a smart move, it’s not going to grow your money in any meaningful way.

If you’re looking to actually grow your wealth, it’s time to think about a High Yield Savings Account (HYSA). These accounts offer a better return on your money compared to a regular savings account. Ask your bank if they offer them, and if they do, find out what the APR (interest rate) is. If it’s 3% or higher, congratulations—you’re in the money-making game! That extra interest will be working for you, slowly but surely, as you put money in over time.

Now, how much should you contribute? If you can, aim to put 3% to 5% of your paycheck into your HYSA after paying your bills and covering your living expenses. I don’t want you to live like a monk just to save—remember, you still deserve a good meal or a night out. But if 3%-5% is too much for you to start with, no worries. Begin with something manageable—anywhere from $20 to $100 per pay period, depending on what you can comfortably set aside. The goal is to consistently invest in your financial future, not to be penny-pinching to the point where you can’t enjoy life today.

Here’s the biggie: once that money goes into your HYSA, do not touch it. This isn’t your “let’s treat myself” fund. This is your “I’m building a better financial life” fund. Keep that money growing over time, and when you’re ready for retirement, you’ll have a solid cushion to fall back on.

And then there’s the emergency fund. Yes, this is the more boring, non-wealth-building account—but trust me, it’s necessary. This is where you’ll stash money for things like car repairs, unexpected medical bills, or, god forbid, a job loss. A good rule of thumb is to build this emergency fund up to 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses. I aim for a year, because I’m an overthinker and would rather be over-prepared than caught off guard. The key here is that you don’t want to dip into your HYSA or rack up credit card debt for emergencies. So, start building this fund as soon as you can, and make sure it’s there when life throws you a curveball.

And as for investing—well, that’s a whole other ball game, and I’ll be diving into that in my next post. Stay tuned, because we’re just getting started on this financial freedom journey!

So, to wrap things up: Don’t blow your extra cash on temporary thrills. Instead, put it into savings and investments that will actually work for you in the long run. Your future self will thank you.

Let’s Talk Finance: Budgeting Without the Dread for Beginners

 Alright, folks, let’s dive into the world of finance. As a financial planner who grew up with very little in Alabama—raised by an amazing dad who had limited education, no financial literacy, and even less of an idea about how to manage money while raising four kids on his own for a few years—I can honestly say I learned a lot of the financial wisdom I’m about to share with you the hard way. From saving to spending, and yes, even budgeting (cue the collective groan), it took me years of trial and error to figure out what works.

But here’s the good news: I’m here to save you from that struggle. And the first step? Budgeting. Now, I know that word alone can send shivers down your spine, but trust me—it’s not as scary as it sounds. In fact, it’s one of the most powerful tools you have to gain control over your finances and start building the financial stability you deserve.

Let’s start with the hard part: budgeting. Yes, I promise it’s not as terrible as it seems. To create a simple budget, the first thing you need to figure out is where all your money is going. Do you have multiple accounts—checking, savings, credit cards? If so, start gathering all that information. I recommend beginning with your checking account, the one where your paycheck is deposited.

If you have online banking (and I’m really hoping you do in this day and age), take a look at your transactions from the last two months. Write down everything that’s coming out of your account—the bills, groceries, subscriptions, the works. If you're anything like me, you’ll probably discover a few double subscriptions or services you didn’t even realize you were paying for. Don’t worry—once you see it, you can always cancel those extras and save some cash.

Now that you’ve tackled the hardest part (congratulations!), take a deep breath and give yourself a mental high-five. You’re on the right track.

Next up, take the same approach with your savings and credit cards. Do the same thing—write down your transactions, and take note of when bills are due. Double-check these dates with the billing company, either by looking at your billing statement or calling them directly. Knowing the exact due date is crucial for the next step—figuring out when to pay based on when you get paid. And if you’re behind or have a late payment, don’t be afraid to reach out to the company to ask about setting up a payment plan or requesting an extension. Many companies are willing to work with you, especially if you communicate your situation.

Now, let’s talk timing. When do you get paid—weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly? If you’re paid weekly, you probably won’t need to adjust your payment dates. But if you’re on a bi-weekly or monthly pay cycle, it’s time to take a look at how your bills line up with your paychecks. Can you afford to pay all the bills that are due during a particular pay period and still have enough left for food, transportation, and—yes—savings? If not, look at your next pay period. If those bills fall into that window, consider asking the billing company to move the due date for some of them. A little tweaking can take a huge load off your shoulders and, hopefully, help you sleep a little easier.

Once you’ve gone through all of this, make sure to write everything down or type it up. This will be your go-to reference as you continue managing your finances.

In my next post, we’ll talk about what to do with the savings you’ll start to uncover as you fine-tune your custom budget. Stay tuned—financial freedom is closer than you think!

People Expecting You to Always Say Hi First (And Why That’s a Little Weird)

 Okay, buckle up, because this might sound like a rant, but I promise it’s coming from a place of frustration, not just me needing to vent. Have you ever had someone say, "You never say hi to me," or "I saw you the other day, and you didn’t come say hi!"? Well, let me tell you, it’s enough to make anyone want to scream, "I’m not your personal greeting committee!"

Am I crazy, or does that just seem a little rude, inconsiderate, and—dare I say it—attention-seeking? I’m from the South, where we’re taught to speak our minds but also show respect and kindness to everyone who behaves in a manner that deserves politeness. But here’s the thing: if I want to talk to you, I’ll approach you and say hello. I’m happy to make the first move, but it’s not my sole responsibility to always be the one to start the conversation or offer the pleasantries. This whole communication thing is a two-way street. I’m not the only one driving here.

And let me tell you, it's usually women who say this sort of thing to me—and sometimes with a side of "I thought it was rude you didn’t acknowledge me." First of all, I’m a proudly gay man with zero interest in seeking attention from women. So, guess what? I don’t owe you anything—especially not an unsolicited hello. But beyond that, when did this become a thing where men have to always initiate communication? I thought feminism was about equality and independence. What happened to that? I’m all for empowerment, but shouldn't we all be equally responsible for creating connections?

Now, let’s talk manners. I’ve actually studied gentleman behavior. Yes, there’s a thing called charm school (it’s still a thing, despite the fact it sounds like something straight out of a rom-com). That’s where you learn how to be polite, how to be considerate, and how to show basic respect. It’s sad that this has kind of fallen out of fashion, but honestly, I think it needs a comeback. I’m not talking about outdated notions like "women must obey" (yikes, no one’s about that anymore)—just simple things like saying "please," "thank you," and referring to people as "sir" or "ma’am." It’s about respect, not submission.

At the end of the day, though, I really just don’t think it should be anyone’s job to always initiate communication. Am I the only one who feels this way? Or am I just the asshole who thinks it's a bit rude when people call you out for not saying hi, when they themselves never bothered to say it first? It’s like when someone says, “You never call or write.” Uh, hello, communication takes effort from both sides, right? Otherwise, we’d all be talking to ourselves—and let’s be honest, that would just make us look crazy.

So here’s my take: if you want to chat, just come over and say hi. I’m happy to engage, but I’m not going to chase you down. After all, we’re all adults, right? Let’s be grown-ups about this whole communication thing.

Political Anger!!

 As I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve left Facebook and Instagram, and I’m making a conscious effort to avoid most U.S. political media—especially the endless cycle of misinformation and manufactured outrage. I refuse to waste my time listening to or reading anything from Donald Trump (a man who is neither a president nor a king but a buffoon) or his lapdog Elon Musk (a billionaire who acts like he’s above consequence). The lies, the hate, the division—it’s exhausting.

But what truly baffles me is why so many Americans are simply allowing this to happen. Why are we standing by while our country’s reputation crumbles? Our ties with allies are being severed, our international credibility is in shambles, and yet, many continue to pretend that everything is fine. The so-called "American Dream" has been dead for years, yet people cling to the illusion that all is well. Meanwhile, politicians and billionaires hoard power and wealth while the rest of us struggle to make ends meet.

Where is our outrage? Where is our fight?

We should be demanding better. We should be out in the streets, making our voices heard, showing those in power that we will not be ignored. The government works for us, not the other way around. Our leaders, our politicians, and the ultra-wealthy who think they control this country should be reminded of that fact.

It’s time for action. We need to stand together and refuse to support businesses that align with hate, corruption, and greed. Companies that have abandoned DEI initiatives, like Tesla, Amazon, and Target, don’t deserve our money. Instead, we should uplift local businesses, support international allies affected by unfair tariffs, and show solidarity with those fighting for a fairer world.

And let’s stop buying into the lies. Fox News and social media propaganda are not sources of truth. If we want real change, we need to stay informed, think critically, and refuse to be manipulated by fear tactics and manufactured division.

America is at a crossroads. We can either continue to sit back and watch as things spiral further out of control, or we can take a stand.

Let’s choose action. Let’s choose unity. Let’s choose a better future.

Stand up. Be heard. Reject hate. Demand change.

Finding my time and self again! Social Media Detox

 Hello World!! I deleted all social media from my phone, and I have to say—it’s been a game-changer. Like so many people, I’ve spent countless hours mindlessly scrolling, falling into the trap of FOMO (fear of missing out), and letting my time slip away. Looking back, I’m honestly amazed at how much of my life I wasted watching endless videos and reading memes, when I could have been doing something far more meaningful.

Since removing social media from my phone—and completely deleting certain toxic platforms like Facebook and Instagram—I’ve discovered an incredible amount of free time. But beyond just time, the mental and emotional benefits have been even more exciting.

I’ve always been an overthinker, constantly worried about how I present myself online and in person. Leaving social media behind has relieved so much of that stress. No longer am I bombarded with political arguments, carefully curated highlight reels, or the pressure to measure up to someone else's filtered reality. Instead, I feel more present, more engaged, and far more content with my own journey.

Without the constant distractions, I’ve been able to truly focus on my work, hobbies, and personal growth. I’m studying for my financial license, diving into AI, and planning my move overseas. I’ve also found myself having deeper, more meaningful conversations with friends and family—whether through text or in person—rather than passively engaging through likes and comments. Without the impulse to check my phone every few minutes, I feel more connected to the people around me and more appreciative of life’s real moments.

Breaking free from the dopamine addiction of social media has been like hitting a reset button on my brain’s reward system. For years, I felt trapped in a cycle of endless ads, memes, and picture-perfect snapshots of other people’s lives, which inevitably led to self-comparison. Despite all my accomplishments, I sometimes felt like I wasn’t doing enough. Now? That feeling is practically gone. I know my worth, and I no longer seek external validation through social media.

With social media off my phone, I’ve rekindled my love for hobbies and real-world activities that bring me joy. I’ve gotten back into reading and listening to audiobooks, exercising, blogging, learning a new language, decluttering my home, and even painting. I’ve also reconnected with my Buddhist studies and meditation practice.

Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to quit social media entirely. I still have a few accounts, but I’ve set boundaries—I can only access them from my laptop, which I primarily use for work and writing. This simple change has significantly reduced my screen time. Now, I only log in for about an hour or two once a week, and honestly, I rarely even think about it anymore.

If you’ve ever felt like social media is draining your energy or taking time away from what truly matters, I encourage you to try removing it from your phone. Replace the habit with music, podcasts, or audiobooks. Trust me, stepping away from social media won’t hurt your social life—it will actually make you more social in the real world.

If you decide to make a change, I wish you the best of luck. You might be surprised at how much life you gain back.