Update on my mom

The results from the tumor biopsy came back, and unfortunately, it was cancer. We’ve spoken with the doctor about the chances of it returning, whether they were able to remove everything during the surgery, and if any further treatment is necessary. According to the doctor, they will need to perform a follow-up surgery to ensure everything is clear. This procedure will be less invasive than her first surgery, which is a relief. As of now, she won’t need any additional treatments.

Janet (my mom) is in good spirits and has been going about her daily activities. She’s still tired, but has regained a lot of her strength. I’m incredibly proud of her for being so strong and brave throughout this process.

Thank you all for your kind words and prayers—they mean so much to my family and me. I’ll continue to keep you all updated as we receive more information. Thanks again, and God bless!

Sexuality decides your friends?...

Over the years, I’ve observed that people tend to segregate themselves by age, gender, race, and sexual preference—often without it being explicitly forced upon us. I’m starting to wonder: Is this behavior learned? Are we taught to gravitate toward people who are like us, or is it that we’re naturally drawn to those with shared experiences or qualities?

As a single, white, bisexual man who prefers the company of other men, my circle of friends is diverse. It includes straight and gay individuals, people of different races, men and women, singles and couples, and even those who are uncertain about their own identity. Admittedly, my current surroundings have led me to spend more time with straight white people, simply due to the lack of diversity in this area. However, I’ve never felt the need to limit myself to a specific group or “click” and have always enjoyed meeting new people and forming connections.

So why is it that some people stick only to specific groups? Why do gay people predominantly surround themselves with other gay individuals, African Americans with other African Americans, and so on? I’m not talking about couples or people seeking relationships, as we all know that when it comes to attraction, a person’s race or background often becomes irrelevant once the connection is there.

Is this tendency to segregate rooted in fear, ignorance, or simply what we’ve been taught is "acceptable" from a young age? Or is it a reflection of our natural inclination to bond with those we feel most comfortable with or understand us best?

Rapture and all

The whole "end of the world, the rapture is coming" talk is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but I’m tired of hearing people, especially self-proclaimed Christians, telling me when and how I’m going to die. How about you just let me live my life and let me meet my fate when it comes, without the constant predictions?

When the rapture happens, I suppose I’ll be here, fighting off Satan, zombies, and demons, while you all float away to your mansions in the sky. (I’m sure heaven doesn't have a problem with luxury living, but I think we can all agree it’s hard to spend eternity in a modest two-bedroom apartment!) I'll be in the company of other sinners and outcasts, just trying to survive and maybe even find my place on the stairway to heaven. And honestly, that’s okay with me—as long as I’m not bombarded with lectures about when I should repent or how I should live.

But before you go, if you wouldn't mind, leave your house unlocked for me. Clean sheets, food, booze, and towels would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and the keys to your car and your gun on the table, just in case I need to make a quick getaway when the zombies arrive. Thanks in advance, and God bless!

Sounds Slutty

Okay, this might sound a little revealing, but I’m okay with it because I know who I am. We all have our needs and desires, and sometimes, those are harder to fulfill when you’re in a new place. For example, moving to a new state and town like I did has definitely changed things. Back home, I had a friends-with-benefits arrangement, which made things easy. But in a small town, there aren’t the same opportunities, like bars, parties, or a large pool of people to connect with.

It's not just the physical part, either. I miss the companionship, the warmth of having someone by my side at night. I know it will be a while before I find someone out here for a meaningful relationship. Honestly, I only know of three gay men across two towns, and even though they’re all great guys, two are already together, and the third isn’t my type. I guess I’ll just have to manage until I make the move to Denver next year.

Hopefully, I can hold out until then. But I’ll just warn anyone around me on particularly "horny" days—they might catch an attitude if they aren’t careful!

Busy week!

This week has been a whirlwind of researching schools, exploring programs, job hunting, and setting up my room at the new place. The room setup has involved scraping the floor with my dad to prepare for hardwood floors, and then I'll be painting. It’s a process, but I’m making steady progress.

On the school front, I’ve found a CNA program that I’ll be starting in September. Once I complete that, I’ll begin the prerequisites for the Radiology Technology course I’ve been wanting to pursue. I’m hopeful I’ll be able to secure a job at a hospital while working on those prerequisites. After that, I’ll apply for the Radiology program, where they only accept eighty students each year. It’s a lot to look forward to, and I’m really excited that everything seems to be falling into place.

Soon, I’ll be doing what I’ve wanted for years—having my degree, my career, and all my life goals aligned. It feels so good to be able to say that. I truly believe everything is falling into place, and it’s a huge relief. I’m incredibly grateful to my parents for helping me escape Alabama and the difficult situation I was in.

Tomorrow is my first day at my new job, which means I’ll be earning an income again and can start paying off some bills since I won’t have to pay rent or utilities for a few months. I plan to get rid of some unnecessary bills, like the TV payment, Target bill, and gym membership. Once those are cleared, I’ll focus on paying off my car. That sounds pretty great too!

Janet's surgery

Today was Janet's (my mom’s stepmother) last doctor appointment before her kidney surgery. I went with her to learn about the plans and ask a few questions of my own. The doctor made everything sound like it would be a relatively simple procedure to remove half of my mom’s kidney and the tumor on it. It almost made me uncomfortable how at ease he was about the whole thing. After all, this is my mom, not just some random patient. I wanted to know about the risks, the specifics of how the surgery would be performed, how long she would be under anesthesia. I’m not the type to want everything sugar-coated.

He explained the surgery, the recovery timeline, and answered all my questions, which I really appreciated. He was thorough and gracious, which gave me some peace of mind. I think both Janet and I might have been a bit more at ease with him because, let's be honest, her doctor is quite the looker for his age. I’ll admit, I had a hard time not checking him out. And yes, I did glance at his ring finger—just in case, you never know when a handsome doctor might swing in a different direction, right? Haha.

But for now, my mom’s surgery is a go, and we are still praying everything goes smoothly. I’m hoping she stays strong, the whole tumor is removed, and her recovery is problem-free.

Job!

I'm so happy to have found a job today! I got the call earlier this morning asking if I was still looking, and I can't wait to start on Monday. It's not my dream job, but it's work, and right now, that's what I need. I’m hoping to catch up on everything and even save up a bit for when I eventually make the move to Denver. If I can save enough for a first month's rent, last month's rent, and a $500 emergency fund before I move, I’ll be thrilled.

I’ve decided that this move is my "make it move." Leaving Tuscaloosa, Alabama, marked the time for me to grow up and buckle down, which is exactly what I’m doing. From now on, it’s all about hard work every day. I need to finish school, land a good job, and become financially independent—so I never have to rely on anyone else for help again, if possible.

But before any of that, my main priority is my mom. She’s having kidney surgery on the 12th, and I’m terrified, despite everyone telling me she’s going to be fine. She’s one of my best friends, and my dad's everything, so she has to pull through and recover fully. She’s an amazing woman and deserves all the prayers and good wishes in the world. Please keep her in your thoughts!

By the way, still loving the West! It’s amazing here—the views are breathtaking, and the people have been so kind. Everyone waves and says hello like they’ve known you forever. It’s kind of like a creepy version of Pleasantville out here, haha. One thing I’ve noticed: I am way overdressed every day. I don’t even know how to explain it, but let’s be clear—I’m not changing for anyone. I’ll continue to be overdressed for me—and we all know, nice jeans and t-shirts are still a thing, right?