Like many people in this country, I have a few thoughts on this topic. First, let me be clear—I am a gay man, and my opinions are my own. I am not speaking on behalf of the LGBTQ+ community, nor am I trying to represent anyone other than myself. If you're looking for an official perspective, I encourage you to visit resources like the GLBT website.
On Identity and Self-Expression
I want to address some things I see happening in the LGBTQ+ community, particularly among younger gay men and lesbian women. I often wonder—what is your inspiration in life, and what are you trying to prove by modeling yourselves after pop icons and reality TV stars? Don't get me wrong, like many others, I like Lady Gaga, Cher, and the great Pop, Disco, and R&B divas. But let’s remember—they are not gods. My faith lies in Jesus, not in overhyped, digitally enhanced celebrities. If idolization is your primary form of self-expression, you may be missing out on the most authentic version of yourself. You have a personality that is uniquely yours—embrace it, let it shine, and don’t lose yourself in someone else's image. Many of the stars we admire today will eventually fade, just like their spray tans. Not everything that glitters is gold.
On Masculinity and Stereotypes
Another thing I’ve noticed is the tendency for some men to dramatically change how they present themselves after coming out—often becoming overly feminized or adopting exaggerated mannerisms. Is this a trend? Has "gay" become synonymous with "pansy"? I grew up in the South, in a small town where I fished, hunted, and played sports (albeit not very well). I was raised with the belief that being a man meant taking care of your family and loved ones. Being gay doesn’t make me any less of a man—in fact, it makes me stronger because I face judgment at every turn.
I want to see my fellow gay men stand with pride and confidence, proving that we are just as hardworking and resilient as we were before coming out. It takes courage to tell the world you are gay—so why lose that strength once you're out? That being said, if you are naturally more expressive or flamboyant, be who you are. My point is not to suppress anyone's true self, but rather to encourage people not to conform to stereotypes out of fear or social pressure. True masculinity is about integrity, self-respect, and how you treat others. When you leave this world, your legacy should be one of character, proving that one man can make a difference.
On Dating and Relationships
Now, let’s talk about dating and marriage. When you first come out, like any young adult—gay or straight—you have some living to do. You will date, have relationships, and yes, probably explore your sexuality. That’s part of life. But remember, your actions affect more than just yourself. Be smart—use protection.
More importantly, take the time to love. Sex is fun, but it’s even better when it’s meaningful. As a community, we are fighting for equal rights, and how we present ourselves does matter. We’ve all heard the negative stereotypes: that gay people are promiscuous, that we spread disease, and that we mock marriage and traditional values. We know these things aren’t true, but perceptions shape public opinion.
At the end of the day, all we want is the same rights as everyone else—the right to marry, to receive the same tax benefits, to be in the hospital with our partners without pretending to be "brothers," and to raise families without fear of discrimination. So let’s not feed into the negative narratives. Instead, let’s promote strength, pride, love, and happiness—because those are the qualities that make us equal and great.
